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To be honest the vast majority of folks you're trying to reach based on your thoughts won't go for a "forum" system no matter how modern-looking it is. They are stuck in Facebook groups etc. I have to use both .. facebook, x, etc combined with my xenforo forum to achieve what you want. Not because Xenforo is antiqued but because groups of people use many many platforms these days.

Now using a shoutbox add-on and a couple of other things has helped me limit that because my users can log on mobile and chat etc....  I guess all that to say 3.0 won't necessarily be what your looking for in my opinion.